Harri Mutka - And #Narcissism

 

"When I want a woman, I will stop at nothing to have her".... so says Harri Mutka. 

Yet, if you ask him what he has done to women, you probably will hear:

"She said I was a bad lover" (followed by tears)

"She said I was not a real man, but a homosexual" (more tears follow).

That was the woman who he had married and had said to him. 

His previous partner, the mother of his two children in Tampere can barely say his name without spitting out venom and hatred. If you ask him why, if you ask him how such a lovely person can become so full of disgust when saying his name, he will shrug and call her mad, unbalanced. 

Mad. Unbalanced. All his women seem to have this characteristic after a while. 

Does Harri Mutka have any responsibility of making women mad? Of making women unbalanced?

Could it be his tendency to lie, to gaslight, to withdraw attention and affection, to deliver the silent treatment as punishment? Could it be his mania of spending time with other women on his mobile? Waking up, going to the washroom with his mobile? Hiding every text message and making up excuses and lies for why he is texting every night always at the same time?

Could it be his tendency to have jealousy attacks when there is absolutely no reason for any jealousy? 

This is what a narcissist looks like. This is how a narcissist behaves. He will isolate, lie, and project his behaviour to others, in particular, to the woman closest to him. 

He will go off to Paris to meet his new replacement, still making promises of future plans. 

He will rewrite narratives to suit himself, always portraying himself as a victim. He will manipulate emotions to suit himself, turning his insecurities into another person's flaws. 

Pretending to be something he certainly is not (e.g. an international expat), he will love bomb and then suddenly withdraw, push you away, ensure that you are isolated and left wondering what you have done. Actions and words do not match. 

Never an apology. That would be below him. 

"I am a lone wolf; I don't want to be with another woman". So he said on the eve of going to Paris to meet his new replacement, a gold digging Brazilian called Beatriz Grimaldi in Bologna. 

As if all this was not sufficient, not enough to hurt, he still had the audacity of telling his estranged partner how women in Paris were not as good as women in Finland, how Parisian women were not interested in sleeping with him. Boo hoo.... poor you....

This is not a 14 year old. This is a 60 year old architect who takes pride in hiding his darkness and cruelty to women. This is a man who used, abused and then brutally trashed the woman who had made a home for them - and even bullied and threatened her out of her own home. 

This is Harri Mutka in Tampere in a nutshell - a person who holds grudges out of nothing, who makes his partner feel vulnerable and unworthy, and who will be the most vindictive in order to please his new replacement - currently a Beatriz Grimaldi in Bologna who picked him up on FB and IG.