Harri Mutka and the Harm of NPD

 "She said I was too feminine and was a homosexual."

"She said she wished I would get a terminal sexual disease."

"She came into the bedroom with a long, sharp knife, ready to stab me. "

These are the tales of Harri Mutka when he speaks of his ex-wife (one of his many partners). 

Harri Mutka, a covert narcissist, plays the victim well. Yet when asked what he does to women, why women react like that to him, he goes silent. Stonewalling all questions into a dead silence. 

People who suffer from NPD struggle with self-esteem and interpersonal relationships. Harri Mutka is a champion in disguising that. He will love bomb the new supply/replacement, feeling temporarily satisfied with his new replacement, happily showing off the new replacement. 

However, NPD is deeply ingrained in him - and his behaviour does not change. With time, his narcissistic traits will show up: lying, gaslighting, dishing out the silent treatment, retreating and denying human affection and communication. Once a woman is of no use to him, he will discard her brutally, as she no longer is considered even as a human being. 

It his last ex partner that he most used, abused and trashed. A woman who shared 50% of  expenses with him, who was honest, hard working and made a home like he never had. Yet it was this person that he was the most brutal to, the most cowardly, not even able to give closure. Because there often is no closure with narcissists. 

Narcissists may keep up the love bombing phase for a while,  remain in a resting period for a while, but their true nature is there. They will constantly have women on the side, constantly lie and blame the other for imagined offences. The other is merely an object for their self validation and nothing more. Narcissists may like the idea of being in love but their "love" is only an infatuation and usually a short term infatuation as they get bored easily and are not able to build long, lasting relationships. 

It's all illusions and facades with a narcissist. Only their lies come in consistent waves; so many lies that Harri Mutka is unable to keep up with his own lies. As a partner, you are only "feed" for a narcissist's self validation and their mask of being a decent human being will slip with time. 

Until the final discard moment which becomes more vicious and nastier with age - or so Harri Mutka has shown. As sure as rain, the moment will come when, faster than a flip of a switch, the partner will be discarded as a non human being, and he will do everything possible to harm, hurt and violate the person who was his partner and had made a home for him and his children. 

Harri Mutka - Narcissistic Abuse

 

First girlfriend slept with his best friend. 

First long term relationship was only because she came from a happy family but he was unable to make her happy. 

Then he went into another relationship, had two more children but could never be faithful to her. 

"When I want a woman, I will stop at nothing to have her" so he always says. 

Taking into account the pain he inflicts on his partners does not matter for Harri Mutka. His lies remain as glaring as his actions. 

Then he married a woman who used him as an ATM machine. Ignored him mostly and would not even cook for his children. He supported her and her two daughters. It came to the point when this wife entered the bedroom with a long, sharp kitchen knife to end him. he then found an apartment for her and her two daughters. 

If you ask him why this happened - after all, the wife had a good life - Harri Mutka goes silent. 

Because he cannot live on his own without a woman, there was another woman. A woman who gave up everything for him. A woman who was understanding, contributed 50% to everything, made a home, excused him for all his short comings. A woman who was dedicated to him, who supported him and loved him. 

That too was not enough for Harri Mutka. He had to lie, gaslight, give her the silent treatment as punishment for existing.When she was ill, at her most vulnerable, he made her even more ill. He lied to her until he had secured a new replacement and even then it was with a text message in the middle of the night. Too cowardly to even be honest about that. 

Yet, if you ask Harri Mutka about these women (never mind all the other in between women), he will always call them crazy and unbalanced. 

As an architect, as someone who is intelligent, this begs the question - how can all these women be crazy and unbalanced? Why does he go silent and refuses to have any responsibility to what he does to women? 

"I am a lone wolf" so he claims. 

No. Harri Mutka is no lone wolf. He is addicted to having new women on a constant basis. 

Today he is with a female narcissist who preys for older, married men on FB and IG, who grooms them until they leave their families. Today, he pays for this gold digger and homewrecker . 

Harri Mutka the #Narcissist in Tampere

 

After years of being supported and cared for...

After years of sharing expenses, dreams, travels, a life....

After years of having had a home like no other....

The narcissist will no longer be able to control his addictions to having new women. The resting phase is over. 

Harri Mutka has used and abuse women for years (he is almost 60 now). However, it was to his last partner that he unleashed all his narcissistic evil and hatred towards women - to the point of bullying and threatening out of her own home. 

He may be addicted to women and lying, but there is also a hidden hatred towards anyone who is creative, anyone who has light and life inside them. He will pretend, use and abuse until he secures a new supply - currently with a woman who lies and who picked him up on FB and IG , and boasts about what she did. 

Narcissistic abuse can never be normalised. 

Harri Mutka - And #Narcissism

 

"When I want a woman, I will stop at nothing to have her".... so says Harri Mutka. 

Yet, if you ask him what he has done to women, you probably will hear:

"She said I was a bad lover" (followed by tears)

"She said I was not a real man, but a homosexual" (more tears follow).

That was the woman who he had married and had said to him. 

His previous partner, the mother of his two children in Tampere can barely say his name without spitting out venom and hatred. If you ask him why, if you ask him how such a lovely person can become so full of disgust when saying his name, he will shrug and call her mad, unbalanced. 

Mad. Unbalanced. All his women seem to have this characteristic after a while. 

Does Harri Mutka have any responsibility of making women mad? Of making women unbalanced?

Could it be his tendency to lie, to gaslight, to withdraw attention and affection, to deliver the silent treatment as punishment? Could it be his mania of spending time with other women on his mobile? Waking up, going to the washroom with his mobile? Hiding every text message and making up excuses and lies for why he is texting every night always at the same time?

Could it be his tendency to have jealousy attacks when there is absolutely no reason for any jealousy? 

This is what a narcissist looks like. This is how a narcissist behaves. He will isolate, lie, and project his behaviour to others, in particular, to the woman closest to him. 

He will go off to Paris to meet his new replacement, still making promises of future plans. 

He will rewrite narratives to suit himself, always portraying himself as a victim. He will manipulate emotions to suit himself, turning his insecurities into another person's flaws. 

Pretending to be something he certainly is not (e.g. an international expat), he will love bomb and then suddenly withdraw, push you away, ensure that you are isolated and left wondering what you have done. Actions and words do not match. 

Never an apology. That would be below him. 

"I am a lone wolf; I don't want to be with another woman". So he said on the eve of going to Paris to meet his new replacement, a gold digging Brazilian called Beatriz Grimaldi in Bologna. 

As if all this was not sufficient, not enough to hurt, he still had the audacity of telling his estranged partner how women in Paris were not as good as women in Finland, how Parisian women were not interested in sleeping with him. Boo hoo.... poor you....

This is not a 14 year old. This is a 60 year old architect who takes pride in hiding his darkness and cruelty to women. This is a man who used, abused and then brutally trashed the woman who had made a home for them - and even bullied and threatened her out of her own home. 

This is Harri Mutka in Tampere in a nutshell - a person who holds grudges out of nothing, who makes his partner feel vulnerable and unworthy, and who will be the most vindictive in order to please his new replacement - currently a Beatriz Grimaldi in Bologna who picked him up on FB and IG. 

Harri Mutka and his Web of Shadows and Lies - Tampere

 Harri Mutka , architect in Tampere, who takes pride in his shadowed life. Pretending to be an honest person, honest as most Finns are, make no mistake - this person is deceitful as he is a bully and coward. 

Consider his history with women: the mother of his children in Tampere practically spits out poison when saying his name. She knows well how Harri Mutka mistreats women. 

His ex wife, on a trip to Prague with him, threw her wedding ring in the river. Back in Tampere, she wanted to kill him with a long kitchen knife when he was in bed. 

If you ask him why, you will get the usual reply of how women are mad, crazy, suffering from insanity. 

Isn't that what all bullies and cowards say? Isn't that the usual, stereotypical way that men speak of women they have harmed?

Harri Mutka often succeeds in his guise of making others believe how "innocent" he is. 

It is "innocent" to make a partner ill? is it "innocent" to lie, deceive, gaslight, mentally and emotionally abuse another person? Is it "innocent" to use a  woman to pay 50% for his children, to use a woman who made a home for him and his children, only to bully and threaten her out of her home (of which she owns50%)?

Is it right to throw out a co-home owner with threats and bullying when Harri Mutka has 2 flats of his own in Tampere? 

All because Harri Mutka now obeys a Brazilian "artist" in Bologna who he pays for. 

Harri Mutka has a history of abusing women and even of his professional position, promising to find jobs for Brazilian females who do not have the slightest qualifications to work at Ramboll. One such case was a female Brazilian who went to Helsinki to meet with him but as she was lesbian, Harri Mutka dropped his effort in getting her a job at Ramboll Finland. 

A sex addict, addicted to using and abusing women, to living in a swamp of lies and deceit, it is time that men who abuse, such as Harri Mutka, are known. Women need to know how pretence and deceit, harming and hurting are what Harri Mutka is all about. As long as a woman is paying 50%, as long as that payment is convenient to him, all is ok. Once a younger woman picks him up, once his lies and deceit can no longer be hidden, it will be then he will deliver the final blow. 

A text at 11:45pm ending an adult, life-long relationship. Saying that yes, he has another woman and is seeing other women. This is from a 59 year old man, not a teenager. 

As if that is not enough, he will then complain about how women in Paris did not sleep with him, how Finnish women are not good enough for him. So are Brazilian gold diggers who control all his actions, good enough?

When his daughter was ill and needed support, did he bother speaking with her? No. His time on his phone was spent with other women. Addicted to having online affairs, these women were more important to him than giving his daughter any kind of support. 

Is this man an example of sound Finnish ethical behaviour?

It is not only the deceit he engages in, but in harmful, hurtful behaviour towards women.  Through bullying, threats and rewriting narratives, Harri Mutka is a danger to women.